How can I make a character who isn't a jerk seem like one?
I have an MC who, because of certain circumstances, everyone sees him as harsh and cruel at first. As they get to know him through the first few chapters, they eventually see he's nicer than they thought. How do I describe that in a novel? (If you can access meta, look at my NaNoWriMo post.)
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2 answers
I like this version of the question better than the last one.
There are many ways to be considered a jerk. The most common is someone who deliberately says or does things that are cruel or obnoxious. But another is to be unthinking about people around you. You might be off in your own head, or have difficulty hearing or seeing so you just nod along, or have a disability that interferes with your ability to connect, or just distracted. These things don't make you a jerk, but they can lead other people to think you are.
Your character might not pick up on subtleties very well. This can make him sound harsh when he's only answering a question or stating something that is factual.
He may have been raised with harshness so he echoes the language.
He may, as you suggested elsewhere, be struggling with a trauma that is blunting his emotional response and/or making him unaware of other peoples' difficulties or reactions.
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People can perceive poor people skills as being harsh or mean. "Cruel" is a word that carries a connotation of enjoying causing others pain, I wouldn't go quite that far.
But some people have very low "EQ" or emotional awareness, they are emotion-blind to others, and don't realize that when they are blunt or honest they are hurting other people's feelings. Even when they do it, they can't read the hurt expressions or voice tones in other people. IRL, some with severe forms of this disability cannot tell the difference between a person laughing and a person crying.
That is at least one way around the problem. Such people can seem like they don't care about others, while they actually do, and then their actions will speak for them. They do take action, sacrifice their time and money to help others when they perceive a need, or are asked.
A common plot device for such characters is their help is requested by somebody weak and desperate, and they step up. A child or teen, perhaps, or on the opposite end but still helpless and desperate, an elderly person.
Such people are often both loners and lonely, an inability to perceive emotions in other people is a disability that makes it difficult to form close friendships or romances.
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