Writing slurred speech

I"ve actually just written a scene in a novel, in which a recent stroke victim slurs her speech. But I don't try for "realism" in this, I write her dialogue straight; but the characters she is talking to struggle with what she is saying.

At the beginning, she apologizes for sounding like she's just been to the dentist.

A few lines in she says, "I was trying to go to the store." I write it like that.

But another character says, "I'm sorry, you were ... oh! Trying to go to the store?"

The stroke victim nods, and says "Yes."

In another sentence, the stroke victim can hear herself, and tries twice to say a word, then finds a synonym to say instead.

Try talking while holding your tongue still, firmly at the bottom of your mouth. Say the lines out loud. It will help you figure out, realistically, what is understandable and what is not.

I personally don't like "phonetic" slurring of speech, it always breaks immersion for me to have to figure out what text is trying to say. I'm quite sensitive to typos for the same reason. I don't catch every one of them, but when I do they stop me in my tracks. So it may just be a quirk of my personality, but I'd suggest don't try to show what the slurred speech sounds like, show the reactions and difficulty people have with slurred speech.

+1 @Caspian for the recommendation on pacing, stalls, confusion and repetition, in portraying drunkenness.

posted almost 5 years ago

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Amadeus‭

3156 reputation 2 1399 613 37

I have read books where authors deliberately misspelled words to try to describe the character's speaking. However, I personally think that this makes it difficult to read and awkward.

Instead of focusing on how the character mispronounces words, think about the rate at which the person speaks. That's something easier to get across.

Example:

"Wha... What am... I..." He stumbled across the floor and flopped onto a chair. "What am..." He closed his eyes as if the words were just too difficult to force out of his own mouth. Finally, mustering together all of his strength, he finally managed to croak out, "I... doing here?"

posted over 5 years ago

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Caspian‭

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To show that somebody is drunk you should add descriptions about what the person is doing and how the environment, especially other people are reacting to it. Staggering through the bar and nearly falling over the other guests, someone needing to support your character to get them outside, the head rolling from side to side, other people needing to ask multiple times because they just can't understand the slurred speech, eyes being unfocused, topics being changed seemingly at random, insensitivity towards topics that are normally considered inappropriate, bottles of alcohol falling out of the persons hands because they can't properly control their motions and mental focus anymore, ...

Those and more are all things that happen around the drunk person because there is far more to someone being drunk than not being able to speak properly. Especially when it ends with someone being dead. That needs a lot of alcohol in most novels if it's not planned beforehand.

If you are really bound on writing "wrong" words to show exactly how your character is talking you need to be careful about the language you are writing in. Different languages have different sounds, which means there is no concrete guideline that always applies. A big impact is also that long and complicated words become too complicated. Which ones those are depend on the character and his environment - which words does your character sometimes use to sound sophisticated, but not often enough that they are becoming part of the main vocabulary your character always uses? Those will be hard and your character will probably try one or two times before giving up and using easier words. Such different speech patterns are an easier way to get a feeling for the drunkeness for the reader than "wrong" words where you have to guess first what it's supposed to say.

The best way to find out what sounds become complicated is to go out drinking with a couple friends if that's a thing you and your friends enjoy and listen to them or other guests while staying sober. It's more effective with friends because you are used to their normal speech patterns and may more easily recognize differences. Just don't force anyone to drink "for science" - in a pinch you can probably find a bunch of videos on YouTube where you can hear very drunk people in your native language trying to talk, maybe even as a game where the people have to pronounce difficult words or tongue twisters ;)

There are also differences in genre. For example in comics where you have far more clues about the situation because of the visuals and the "rules" are far more lax anyway it's pretty normal to use such "wrong" words.

posted almost 5 years ago

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5y ago

Secespitus‭

550 reputation 9 193 104 11

Dr. Johnson is supposed to have said that you cannot reproduce the effects of dullness and garrulity without actually being dull and garrulous. Being slightly less 18th century (I'm more of a Victorian, truth be told), I would say, just because it is true does not mean it isn't tedious.

I think writers fall into this trap a lot. They devote a lot of art and craft to trying to write something that is perfectly true to life, but forget that most of ordinary life is dull as ditchwater, and that people read books to get away from the dullness of ordinary life. And there are few things more dull and dreary in ordinary life than listening to a drunk. That is why most of the great drunks of literature don't actually sound drunk at all. The sound uninhibited. They are often lyrical and bombastic and eloquent. They are seldom slurred and repetitive and stupid, because that is tedious and the cardinal sin of writing is to be tedious. Truth is no defence against tedium. Better to lie and fascinate than to tell the truth and bore.

So maybe don't do that.

posted almost 5 years ago

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5y ago

Mark Baker‭

4371 reputation 12 1104 744 58

P.G. Wodehouse succeeded with this. I don't think you can do better than Wodehouse as a model.

Here's a thought: Think of how an artist starts with an outline of a house, and then conveys to the viewer that the wall is made of brick. He can do this by drawing approximately four bricks (in a cluster) somewhere on that wall.

Suggest the drunkenness with a small number of examples. I vaguely recall SH being substituted for S. I think you can also occasionally replace a word with one that has one or more garbled syllables, perhaps similar to what a toddler or a pre-schooler might do, for example, psghetti.

posted almost 5 years ago

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aparente001‭

285 reputation 16 31 41 4

In most of the books that i have read, which include a drunken character at some point, the person's speech mostly follows these points-

1. Words which have two or more than two consonants continuously are written as if only one letter is pronounced. Eg: screeched may be written like- skrichd , skichd etc. Sentence usage: the .. car.. car skrichd .. to . halt.

2. As shown the above sentence, the speech may also involve wrong grammar, or can even miss articles and similar important parts of speech which a regular conscious man has to include in his speech for etiquette. Grammatical errors may include sudden changes in tense of the sentence. Sentence usage: i . . Was to go.. to going . the mark--market .

3. Words , the pronunciation of which involves the tongue's side touching the teeth, or the tongue touching the roof of the mouth are commonly confused by a drunken man. Basically the 'rh' or 'gh' type sounds. You should pronounce each word yourself and try to pronounce it as if your tongue can't properly contact these above surfaces.

4. You can also include sudden change of topic, mid speech for a more humorous approach to things!.

posted over 5 years ago

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Crasshassin‭

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