How to trick the reader into thinking they're following a redshirt instead of the protagonist?
I'm currently planning a "magical girl" story, and I thought of an interesting way to start it, rather than launching straight into the backstory. It opens with a woman in her mid-thirties, complete with ponytail of death, walking through a city market while being stalked by a shadowy monster.
What I want readers to expect is that the woman is either going to be killed by the monster, or saved from it in the nick of time by the heroine. What actually happens is that when the monster finally attacks, the woman transforms into a magical girl, beats the everloving crap out of the monster, and then destroys it with a magical laser beam. Surprise! She is the heroine.
I want to try and preserve this surprise as best I can, and make the readers think they're following a redshirt or one-off character instead of the protagonist. Not referring to her by name until after the reveal will help, but it's probably not enough. What else can I do to achieve this?
(I'm aware of answers on other questions to the effect of "don't trick your readers". In my case, this is supposed to be a pleasant surprise, so I feel like it's okay.)
Misdirection works better if there is something to be misdirected to. To extend the metaphor you used in your question, …
5y ago
Make the character part of the setting. There are various methods for making a person in a story appear to be the main …
5y ago
Write from the POV of the monster. This way the prey can be described in more dismissive terms. You can then add inner t …
5y ago
If I had to play out this scene from the POV of the protagonist, it would be hard to transition from "redshirt" to "hero …
5y ago
+1, Wetcircuit, though I will disagree on the Buffy angle; she is right on the misdirection. This is difficult to pull …
5y ago
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If I had to play out this scene from the POV of the protagonist, it would be hard to transition from "redshirt" to "heroine" in a first person narrative. She - as a person - is the heroine from the start no matter what the reader thinks. Her personality doesn't change.
That's why I would play this scene out from the monster's point of view. For the monster this is just another night and another prey. It could follow its prey and come to (false) conclusions about how she is just the same as every other prey. then, the monster will be surprised by the magical girl and the chapter ends with its death.
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Misdirection works better if there is something to be misdirected to. To extend the metaphor you used in your question, if you want to make people think someone is a redshirt, it helps to have an apparent yellowshirt. So, for instance, you can have a police detective investigating mysterious deaths. Then a girl comes along that matches the pattern of victims. Will the detective reach her in time?
If you're willing to break audience trust for the sake of a twist, you can use the title and cover art to help set someone else up as the protagonist.
One problem that your idea of "subverting" this cliche is that this cliche is itself a subversion. Thing of Scream. We were clearly meant to think that this character played by a big-name actress was being set up as the protagonist. But now this "twist" has become so common that it has itself become a cliche. Now you want your reader to think that you think they will think that your character is the protagonist, so they will think she's a red shirt, so they will be surprised when she's actually the protagonist. That's a lot of levels to expect your readers to be operating on.
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Write from the POV of the monster. This way the prey can be described in more dismissive terms. You can then add inner thoughts of the monster. Dismissive thoughts about how this one does what they all do. First they get scared and their blood makes them easier to find. Then they run, and tire themselves out. Next they die. Hey wait, where did that thumping heartbeat go and why are her eyes glowing?
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Make the character part of the setting.
There are various methods for making a person in a story appear to be the main character (or at least a prominent one). For example:
- Giving her a name (obviously even background characters can have names, but if the narrator refers to her by name, she's more likely to be a big character).
- Listening to her thoughts.
- Giving background information in the narration (her profession, how close to home she is, how her heavy dinner is sitting in her stomach right about now).
- The narrator having a familiarity with the character.
- Showing complex emotions (fear is okay here but I mean giving her a complex inner life).
- Describing her in detail.
You want to do the opposite. Don't give her a name, just call her "the woman" or something similar. Describe her minimally, just enough for the reader to picture the scene. Stay out of her head. Don't give any background or additional information about her that isn't present in the scene.
You want the narrator's gaze on her. Show her, follow her, record her actions. You can do this by using the point of view of the monster, as other answers here suggest, but that isn't necessary and may not be what you want (it lifts the monster to the place of a main character, though it can work if done infrequently).
The point of view here can be from the narrator (in a movie it would be the camera). An observer who moves around the scene like no human can.
Allow the narrator to describe the woman as if coming across her for the first time (because that's what the reader needs to think). Don't show the narrator having any familiarity with who this character is.
All these things will make the woman part of the setting. Your reader won't think she is going to stick around after this chapter (either because she dies or because she gets away).
At the end of the opener, or at the start of the following chapter, you can reveal who the woman is and tell the reader more about her.
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+1, Wetcircuit, though I will disagree on the Buffy angle; she is right on the misdirection.
This is difficult to pull off. The way I would do it is a little "close up magic"; you have to write from the POV of the hero but still mislead the reader into thinking she is doing something DIFFERENT than what she is doing.
One way to do that is give her a phone and somebody to talk to, a partner or spouse.
Here is an outline of a conversation. On the phone she is complaining.
Hero: No, I can't find this guy anywhere. And I have to get home and start dinner, I can't do this all night.
Partner: Just stop and get some pizza on the way home.
Hero: I'm not feeding kids pizza every night, it isn't healthy.
Partner: Alright. Well try Baker street, that's on your way home.
Hero: We tried that last night, and you said you didn't trust that report anyway!
Partner: I know. Just try it again.
Hero: Whatever. What's the quickest way to Baker?
Partner: Um, let me check your phone. Oh. Take a right in the next alley, then three blocks to Baker.
Hero in the dark alley, disgusted by trash and litter and puddles of who-knows-what-that-is-but-it-doesn't-smell-like-water. She hears trash cans being rattled. In front of her, a dumpster shape-shifts into a monster.
Hero: What the hell are you doing in an alley?
The monster attacks. Hero mode.
The trick here (so you can tailor to your own story) is to make it seem like she is searching for a person, and frustrated by not being able to find him. You could do the same bit searching for an object.
As a superhero, she isn't afraid of the monster, she is just irritated that she can't find it, and she has a life to live.
In the alleyway we present things that stink and she finds disgusting, she doesn't want to be there, but still in her mind there is no monster because she thinks she has missed her chance. She is just taking a shortcut to Baker street. She doesn't even expect to find the monster in the alley.
But make sure if you go through it a second time knowing she is a superhero, you aren't cheating. She just wasn't thinking about being a superhero while talking to her partner on the phone, she was thinking about her domestic life. Because killing monsters is routine for her, she doesn't really have to think about it.
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