How to make travel scenes interesting without adding needless plot diversions?
I have always had a problem with travel in my stories. Since I'm writing an epic fantasy novel, travel is a big theme as characters often have to move from where they are to where the plot dictates.
However, one of the difficulties I have is that the travel itself is often not important to the plot. In the novel I'm reading now (Wizard's First Rule by Terry Goodkind), there is a huge amount of travel, and the author adds needless encounters with various magical beasts just to keep tension high. The story I'm writing is already large enough in scope without needless extra diversions. I am not a fan of action scenes just for the sake of having something happen; I want everything that happens to advance my main plot.
Additionally, the acts of the characters dealing with innkeepers, staying the night, paying for their food, eating, etc., is boring both to write and to read.
To make my current dilemma even more frustrating, the two characters who are traveling together in this specific instance have just met each other and should be forging their relationship during the travel. So while I don't want to focus too heavily on the travel, I do want to be able to expose their interactions.
How can I gloss over the uninteresting parts while still keeping enough to show this character development?
Follow your instincts. If something is boring you, then absolutely don't waste your time writing about it. I have found …
7y ago
Here's an example of how this can be handled: > The journey took three, long, weary days, and when they finally reached …
8y ago
David Weber's The War God's Own has some lengthy travel scenes in it which he does quite well. I suspect this as an olde …
13y ago
One thing that should be used as a seasoning in Odyssey tales is the idea of the false destination. The idea that where …
13y ago
I use points in the travel scenes for character development, and skip the rest with a sentence. "It was a two day walk b …
7y ago
If I'm following you, it seems that the travelling itself isn't important, but that the characters have traveled is adva …
14y ago
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6 answers
David Weber's The War God's Own has some lengthy travel scenes in it which he does quite well. I suspect this as an older book predates his Heinlenesque tendency to include huge info-dumps. You can get it free from Baen's Free Library. One of the things I like is he shows character growth and learning about each other through relatively minor interactions within the party.
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One thing that should be used as a seasoning in Odyssey tales is the idea of the false destination. The idea that where the characters thought they were going is not in fact the destination and a further journey must be undertaken to complete their objective. Also, the idea of the false arrival where the protagonists consider abandoning their quest because they arrive somewhere that offers them an alternative.
Also the idea of having sub-objectives is useful to make the travel seem necessary e.g.
We want to destroy the dark amulet of goomba but we have no idea how. I have heard that the Enchanter Philip knows of a way but he lives in Footrot Swamp which can only be crossed with the aid of the Footrot Guardian who requires that all whom he assists perform a task for him.
Of course if someone says that then the reader actually knows what they have to sit through before anyone gets anywhere near disposing of the goomba amulet. So better to have a false expectation that it is Enchanter Philip who knows how to destroy the blasted thing and that he lives in a small village on the edge of Footrot swamp. So visit Anklemange Village and the amulet is toast, but when the heroes get there Philip's house is deserted and crawling with nasties. Only then do they find out that Philip had to relocate into the swamp and so on.
If you tell people exactly what the heroes are going to have to do then the heroes may have a heart filled with courage and conviction to get this tedious series of fetch-quests done but the audience will take their own view on whether they want to go with.
If you're always promising that the destination is just around the next corner people commit and you have time to woo them with your excellent characters and richly populated world.
It seems like a con trick but really what you should consider is that you're making one long journey into a series of little sub-journeys, each with their own resolution. If they add to the cause of plot thickening so much the better.
For example what happens if, when the Guardian transports them into the Footrot Swamp they are harangued by a weird sentient swamp lizard who tells them that the amulet can never be destroyed but that it can be changed from a force in service of the dark god Goomba to one in the service of the light god Abmoog. This is new information. Is it a lie? Or could it be true? Besides the legend states that Abmoog was killed by Goomba before the Aeon of the Cedarwood Badger. So having an amulet in the service of a dead god would be useless, wouldn't it?
If the reasons for the quest the nature of the task and even the protagonist's own ethical framework are questioned by the journey they are undertaking it creates tension in the actual journey itself. Your audience will learn that just because it looks like a duck don't mean it won't go "moo".
And all the best stories are about cows that turn out to quack.
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Here's an example of how this can be handled:
The journey took three, long, weary days, and when they finally reached the city, the sun was about to disappear below the horizon. Hoping they were in time, they hurried through the wide streets and narrow alleys, until they reached a large building. A sign, hanging on the wall, read:
THE BARLEY INN.
Mikael pushed the door open and stepped in, followed by James. As soon as they had stepped in a warm flow of air engulfed them, and they headed towards the Inkeeper. He was a tall, hairy man who towered over them menacingly, his eyes darting to and fro as he cast dubious glances across the empty inn. As the two men approached, he kept his eyes on them hungrily.
"You need a room?"
Mikael spoke first. "Yes, please. We'll be sharing it together, so you can keep it as the price for one."
The Inkeeper shook his head. "I'm sorry, sire, but we make our prices depending on the number of people, not rooms. It will be twenty-five for each person."
Mikael sighed, and produced the required money from his pouch.
"There," he said.
The Inkeeper pointed a bony finger to a set of steps in the corner of the room. "The second door at the left. There's no keys, so you'll have to do with that."
They walked up the staircase and emerged into a large corridor, with a set of doors on each side. The door to their room was weakened by years of carelessness, and it creaked when they pushed it open. The room was plain, with two beds laid carefully on both sides. Apart from the beds, the chamber was empty.
James' face fell.
"Well, at least the door will creak if someone tries to intrude at night," Mikael said, seeing James' face.
James scowled. "There's no one in this Inn anyways."
Mikael chuckled, and dropped his bag on the floor. He sat down on the bed, surprised at how tough it was.
"Don't complain," Mikael said cheerily, "we'll be leaving for Teans soon. The dragons will make sure of that."
James managed a smile, but it fell quickly.
"The beds! They could be rocks!" he moaned, rocking crazily on one of the mattresses.
"Stop acting like a child and sleep," Mikael ordered.
James scowled again. "We didn't even have supper."
The next day, James opened his eyes and was surprised to see Mikael stuffing his clothes into his bag hurriedly.
"What are you doing?" James asked sleepily. "Do you realise that I've worked hours just for unpacking this mess?"
Mikael turned to face him. "Get up. We've got no time. Grab all you need annd we're leaving."
"What?"
"Just do it."
James sprang from his bed. He was feeling tired as he pulled on his clothes and grabbed his sack.
"What now?"
Mikael pulled the door open and stepped out. James went after him, feeling angry and tired after his forced awakening.
The Inkeeper was there, frowning at them.
"You're leaving?"
Mikael strode past him and stormed out of the door. The Inkeeper gazed at James questioningly.
James shrugged. "Don't ask me," he said, and headed out of the door.
The second journey was longer than the first. They crossed the Areon River with much efforts, only to find a new challenge awaiting them on the other side. The Fortis Range towered over them like a huge, fire-breathing dragon. James felt exhausted after several days of hard climbing through the harsh weather. But he soon realised that the climbing had been child's play. Now they had to make their way down the snowy slope, against the north wind and the danger of prowling wolves.
On the other side, the city of Teans lay surrounded by blood-thirsty dragons.
Not friendly ones like Oneaon, but terrifying, seven clawed ones. Even Mikael's genius seemed no match for the hungry dragons, and James feared they would meet a roasted end. But he kept his thoughts to himself, and followed Mikael across the snowy slope.
On the fourth day, Teans was in sight. A careful look around the snowy peaks proved the rumors true: huge dragons could be seen shooting across the sky in a frenzy of claws and fire. They circled the city, and James felt fear prick through him.
There was still some way left down the slope that led to the city, and they crossed it fairly quickly. Soon they stood under the walls of the city. James kept casting glances around himself, hoping the city walls would open and engulf him before the dragons did. Mikael was calm as he called out to the inhabitants.
There was no answer.
Mikael shouted again. His voice rang out across the snowscape.
Suddenly, a heart-wrenching shriek achoed across the land. James turned around just in time to see a huge dragon sweeping low to attack him. He stared, too scared to move, at the dragon's jaws as they flew open and sped towards him.
Hope it helped. My point is that you should write some things about the time spent in Inns, and when you're writing down the travel scene, then just make a rough account of it eg: the time it took, the atmosphere: in this essay, the characters have to reach Teans before it is destroyed by dragons. You should mention the objective at least once. If something vital to the storyline takes place, then you should write it down with as much description as possible. I really hoped that helped. I know my essay was pretty rough and speedy, but the point here is about the traveling(though I did include a lot of scenes where the characters aren't moving).
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Follow your instincts. If something is boring you, then absolutely don't waste your time writing about it. I have found that travel scenes are ideal for side plot developments; so, what I tend to do is leave that section blank until I can use it later. Don't be afraid to do that. Insert a simple (character travels from point a to point b here), and skip to the main story line. You'll know later what can go there.
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I use points in the travel scenes for character development, and skip the rest with a sentence. "It was a two day walk before they got to the travel barge headed down the Black River."
Then one of the characters lies her ass off making friends with the captain, not to get a cheaper price or get any information, just to make him like her.
Things can happen in inns, shops, taverns and stables that reveal character traits important elsewhere: Somebody is quick to anger or violence, somebody is a casual thief, somebody is flirtatious or even promiscuous, whatever.
Life happens during travel. It would be rather surprising if two people travel together for seven days and absolutely nothing changed in how much they knew of each other, trusted each other, or felt for each other (for good or ill), or how much they had thought of their situation and felt about THAT. Unless they are in suspended animation, that seems both unrealistic, and under-imagined.
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If I'm following you, it seems that the travelling itself isn't important, but that the characters have traveled is advancing the plot.
You can cut out most of the actual journeying, showing the quest in what the characters do when they stop moving. You can have characters refer to the travelling enough to make it clear how far they traveled -- gods damn it, my feet hurt.
As a bonus, if you have on-the-road scenes after setting up this pattern, they'll come across as fresh and different.
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