Good idea to describe the heist place before the heist begins?

If you want that in deep detail, provide a tour. If you want to cut on detail a little, make a scene of pre-heist briefing (or security briefing if that's the narrator's side).

The leader describes key elements, may show footage - photos or video of more important elements, may show images - that way you can fine-tune the amount of detail you convey as you like - filtered through three layers of narration (1. preparing materials for the briefing, 2. actual briefing, 3. your own narration) the amount of detail conveyed to the reader can be as fine-grained as you only desire.

posted about 11 years ago

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SF.‭

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In many movies and novels there is a scene where the heist is planned. Bankrobbers don't usually spontaneously draw their guns when they pass a bank on their way to the supermarket. They have to have a pretty good idea of who will be where at what time, if the heist is supposed to work. So they plan. And this planning phase can be used to describe the (neccessary particulars of – see my other answer) the location.

This is a perfect method, because it keeps the action scene free of non-action elements. The reader already knows the location, so you can run him through it at full speed.

And it creates a riddle/solution scene (or however you play the planning) that can be entertaining and exciting in itself.

Finally, it allows you to play the actual events against the "blueprint", showing how the action deviates from the plan, how the characters are creative or fail.

A planning scene, of course, only makes sense, if the heist is complicated enough to make witnessing the planning entertaining. If all you need is a long corridor, that is something you can throw in when the person runs through it.

posted about 11 years ago

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System‭

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Location, in a novel, is a protagonist. Protagonists act. If they are not taking part in an action, they don't appear in that section of text. If the location does not take a meaningful part in the action, it must not appear in the text.

Example with person:

Your novel is about John and Hannah. In the present scene, John goes to the supermarket alone. You will not write:

John when to the supermarket alone. John entered the supermaket, Hannah didn't. John picked up some apples, while Hannah, who was not there, picked up nothing. John paid for the apples without Hannah.

Example with location:

John has an accident. You will not write:

John slowly drove along the road. The steering wheel was black, the upholstery was a dark blue. The lights on the dashboard were red. The windshield was a bit dirty at the edges. The road was straight, the asphalt faded to a light grey with age. Yellow lines ran along the curb on either side, glowing softly in the fading evening light. Birds were crossing from left to right on their way to their roost. ...

What you will do is describe only what the protagonists do, in relation to the story.

If the lights on the dashboard irritate the driver, say so, otherwise don't mention them. If the road marking distracts the driver, who is from a country where they have a different color, say so, otherwise don't mention them.

In most actions scenes, you don't need a lot of description of the location where that action takes place. I just read Flash, by L.E. Modesitt, Jr., a SciFi thriller, and there is a scene where the protagonist enters a building and assassinates another character. He pretends to be visiting one person, but on his way to her kills another person by pretending to going to the toilet (which will explain the time he spent in the builing). All I know after reading that scene is that there is a building, it contains offices, there is a porter, a toilet, an elevator, and hallways. I have no idea what the layout of the building is, how far it is from the toilet to the elevator, or even in which floor the action takes place. Because that is not part of the action the location brings to the story!

Of course there are novels that wallow in pages of detailed description. But I guess that using the word "heist" you are not writing in that genre. In your case (as I imagine it) I would reduce the description of place (and characters!) to the bare essentials. That way, the reader will create the place (and person) that for him or her most fits the story.

My favourite example is beauty: If you want your protagonist to be beautiful, just say she is beautiful. Don't add any details. That way every reader will see the person he or she finds most beautiful, instead of reading a description that will be hard to transform into an image and that might not be attractive for that particular person, destroying the impact of your plot.

posted about 11 years ago

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System‭

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Keep in mind that a book is not a movie (yes, this sounds trivial and stupid, but bear with me).

Movies uses images so they are easy imaginable. Opposite to that producing images in the reader's head is the hard part. And you want to produce these images and make them rememberable without the interesting, thrilling action (the heist) you need it for?

Well, either you have another exciting scene at the same place (where you have the same problem like you have now) and make the place visible and rememberable, or you describe what you need during the heist.

Be aware, that a reader could take his time. So if you use two scenes and the reader needs two days till he reaches the second scene (because he has not much reading time), will he still remember?

Two scenes or one, whatever you give the reader to read, make it interesting.

posted about 11 years ago

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John Smithers‭

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Write the scene where the protagonist takes a tour. That shouldn't take too long to do, and it'll probably help you firm up your idea of the layout of the place in your own mind as well.

Write the heist.

Now try putting the two together. There's at least 4 outcomes I can think of:

• It works great with the separate layout descriptions first. Keep it like that.
• The separate layout description is helpful, but having it all at the beginning slows things down too much. In that case you could try splitting the layout description and the heist itself up into sections, then alternate back and forth in time between the two.
• Having a separate layout description doesn't work, but you like the way you wrote it. Cannibalise it, taking the parts you like and work them into the heist description itself.
• The separate layout is entirely unnecessary. Discard it.

My point overall is that this is a difficult question to ask in an abstract manner. Sometimes writing a description first may work, sometimes it won't. I think your best bet is, if you feel led to write it, then go ahead and write it. Don't let worrying about the overall structure slow you down now - fix that later once you've tried writing it once and have a better perspective on the work as a whole.

posted about 11 years ago

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Pat‭

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Watch the show Leverage. (It's about five criminals who turn Robin Hood, and they spend quite a bit of time breaking into buildings and stealing things.) Watch the entire first season, at least. Take notes on how often you get the layout of the place before it's broken into and how often it's not necessary.

posted about 11 years ago

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Lauren Ipsum‭

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I think a good rule of thumb would be: Up-front, in preparation, the story can characterize one or two major challenges the heist will need to overcome.

That's enough to whet the reader's appetite and to build anticipation. It's also enough to allow you to write very quick explanations while the action is happening. If we know the bank is patrolled by robotic guardian leopards, then you don't need to explain ahead of time how the team is going to sneak in through the decorative fountain and then remotely detonate a catnip distraction. For these smaller details, you can shed light on the explanations as you go along with the actual action:

We were leaking water out of our boots, but it had worked - the robo-pussies never went near the water, and hadn't noticed us. Yet.

"You ready, Brenda?" I muttered. She was taking her sweet time opening up the watertight bag. She didn't answer immediately, and for a moment, I was afraid the bag had sprung a hole, and we were all dead meat. But then she breathed out, and raised the detonator out of the bag. "High and dry," she said. "Hope the pussies like their catnip."

...and so on.

For heist scenes, the reader generally is willing to accept that he won't be privy to the full plan before it goes down. If he had to wade through all the details when the protagonists do, they'd be ridiculously boring, and then there'd be a big long heist scene which'd be boring because now the reader knows what's going to happen. So revealing the details as you go is a great way of avoiding a huge infodump, and it does a good job of conveying the suspense, the meticulous planning, the careful consideration of branching possibilities - just as they become relevant.

What you do need to do is have those major obstacles in place already, familiar to the reader - otherwise you'll have your characters climbing out of the fountain and then stopping for a long explanation of robo-leopards.

posted about 11 years ago

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Standback‭

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