Is it okay to say what the character infers about other characters thoughts as fact in third person limited?
The story is third person limited to Bob's point of view. He is with Alice, and I have the following line.
Alice sat up proudly, then shrunk back down, realizing where she was.
Compare this to
Alice sat up proudly, then shrunk back down, apparently realizing where she was.
This is a tiny change, but without it I am technically breaking the limited scope and seeing into Alice's head briefly. But at the same time, Bob could realistically realize that was what was going on in Alice's head, so it does not seem egregious.
The reason I am hesitant to do the second is because I do not want to be constantly hedging statements with things like "apparently" or "seemed to" since it can bog down the writing if used often.
So the question: Is it okay to show thoughts of the non-perspective character if the perspective character can reasonably guess them?
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2 answers
This will be a matter of opinion. My opinion is no, it is not okay. I write in 3PL myself, exclusively, and everything I write is as if the MC is seeing it.
You are doing nothing but saving space, and saving space is not important. I would probably write that scene as:
Alice sat up proudly, then shrunk back down.
She just realized where she was, Bob thought.
But, since Bob is the only one that can think [whose thoughts are ever shown], and this is indicated by italics, the following would suffice:
Alice sat up proudly, then shrunk back down.
She just realized where she was.
Then, because things should be filtered through Bob's mind, I'd add some take on it; Bob should feel something about what he has seen. Not just report it. Perhaps he's sympathetic.
Alice sat up proudly, then shrunk back down.
She just realized where she was. Too bad, anywhere else and she's got a right to be proud.
My narrator is not the MC, and the narrator can describe visual things in ways Bob would not. For example, "sitting up proudly". I can't be certain Alice is "proud", but I can be just as certain, visually, as saying Alice is Angry, afraid, grieving, etc. So I don't mind the attribution of "proudly".
I also don't mind if the 3P narrator gets poetic or imaginative in their descriptions of a setting, in ways the MC would not.
But as far as knowing what is in any character's mind: that is what the "LIMITED" means. Find a way for Bob to interpret what is in Alice's mind. And make it clear, don't make us infer what Bob inferred.
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As a reader, I wouldn't think twice about that brief "break" of POV. I also don't generally analyze "what point of view is this in?" while reading. I think, if it works in the story and flows well, don't over think it.
I just recently finished an award winning book that is third person limited, but for about three pages I spent time in a minor character's head. That "broke the rules", I noticed it, but didn't mind because I liked the story. It helped moved the narrative along.
This post was sourced from https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/41997. It is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0.
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