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How can one write good dialogue in a story without sounding wooden?

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I began an assignment to write a short story for a Creative Writing submission to a publication and although it was accepted, I found that I struggled with the addition of dialogue to this first-person narrative.

I began by trying to avoid dialogue between the characters and kept the "dialogue" in my head as personal mental processings and ruminations. At some point, I realised that the story would need interactions between the characters in order to build relationships relative to the story and it was then that I was met with a mental brick wall. Further thought lead me to realise that in reading stories in general, when it comes to verbal interactions between characters, I tend to lose interest, as it often feels awkward, forced, lacking depth and authenticity . It's almost as if it ruins the atmosphere that has been carefully crafted, cutting into the mood like the slap from a dead piece of meat. A good deal of dialogue is small-talk, and I have to admit,I'm not a fan of small talk in reality.

I'm interested in knowing the magic formula for writing dialogue to keep the reader, including myself as author, engaged in the story and connected to its characters.

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Characters interrupt each other

People don't always wait for one another to finish speaking (and say "over" to indicate they are done) before they start talking. To extend Amadeus answer from above:

"That is a beautiful necklace, did you just get it? I haven't gotten any new jewelry in so long. I was going to buy myself something but my hus-"

"I saw your husband leaving the Emporium yesterday, didn't get the chance to say hello. I love that place!"

"Oh, really? We love it too." He told me he went to Dallas, yesterday.

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You leave out small talk by focusing on big talk!

By this I mean every thing a person says should be something at least one person in the conversation needs to hear, or wants to hear, or is surprised to hear, or if the other person ignores it, should have wanted to hear.

Dialogue has consequence. Cut out lines that don't have a purpose, or aren't going to have an impact on anybody. The impact does not have to be positive, the information conveyed could be confusing, devastating, joyful, relieving, it may explain something important to them. Even if the speaker thinks they are not saying anything revelatory, the listener might find it revelatory.

"I saw your husband leaving the Emporium yesterday, didn't get the chance to say hello. I love that place!"

"Oh, really? We love it too." He told me he went to Dallas, yesterday.

The only rule is, somebody has to care about it.

If you can't think of anything BIG to talk about, don't write dialogue. Write action, or skip time in the story until something interesting can be said or done or happen.

Make sure your dialogue serves a purpose that is clear to at least you, in terms of providing information, or revealing something about a character, or illustrating or sharing some emotion.

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Dialog in a story serves to advance the story or develop character.

I’ve been taught that dialog isn’t conversation as much as its the ‘best of conversation.’ It condenses while it evoke emotions. It informs while obfuscating falsehoods, making them seem true and vice versa.

If you are unsure about your characters dialog when you work your draft, you can either just go nutz and write it all out without trying to make it really good and pity, or you can just summarize your goal as a writer what you want to happen as a result of this dialog.

Later, you can rework it once you have a better perspective on the characters or events.

I find the more momentum I can maintain writing dialog the easier it is develop.

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There isn't one, fiction, both reading it and writing it is a subjective experience, everyone sees it differently so there's no single formula that works in all cases. The best way to learn good writing is by reading good writing. You need to find dialogue that you do enjoy reading, that doesn't cause you to disengage and learn from the style of the author(s) who wrote it.

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