How to handle foreign military ranks?
Suppose you have a character who has a rank in a foreign military - say, Feldwebel Hans. That's the equivalent of a Sergeant.
On one hand, having people call him "Herr Feldwebel" gives some flavor and authenticity to the story, and I'd really like to do this. On the other hand, most readers won't know for sure what a Feldwebel is (I found out thanks to Wikipedia!) and what's his relationship to, say, an Oberst (Colonel) who berates him.
How would you handle this? I rather use the original names for flavor, but I can't figure a non-contrived way to explain the native language equivalent rank.
You can also use an appendix. These don't have to be as dry and as detailed as they have the reputation for. (I think Lo …
13y ago
In case foreign definitions occur more than once or twice, I would keep foreign names in the text, with no explanation o …
13y ago
First remember that for many readers "Colonel" and "Sergeant" are just as alien as "Oberst" and "Feldwebel". A civilian …
14y ago
A number of good answers, indeed. But why not just leave it as "foreign"? Flavor indeed. Don't think it's too hard to f …
14y ago
If you only have one or two ranks to explain to the reader : Simply explaining it in the text may be your best option; …
14y ago
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If you only have one or two ranks to explain to the reader: Simply explaining it in the text may be your best option; i.e., exposition may be the lesser of the evils. The clumsiness will be over quickly, and you can then move on with the plot. (If this is particularly difficult, you can always use a footnote; it pops the reader out of the story juust a bit, but that will also make the reader remember this if its important. Footnotes aren't usually the best idea in fiction, but one or two can be fine if you keep them very short. (sjohnston's answer is essentially an inline footnote, and can work very well if you want to be less obtrusive.)
If there are many such ranks: You can set the flavor of the work with a Table of Millitary Ranks, similar in flavor to a Dramatis Personae but less troublesome than a glossary.
You also have the option of using exposition, which can work only where it's done very, very well indeed.
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In case foreign definitions occur more than once or twice, I would keep foreign names in the text, with no explanation or footnote. It would be then convenient to provide a glossary of all foreign definitions at the end of the novel, and may some additional infos for further reading / bibliography.
This post was sourced from https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/2094. It is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0.
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A number of good answers, indeed.
But why not just leave it as "foreign"? Flavor indeed. Don't think it's too hard to find out, and it gives not just flavor but authenticity.
Compare original-language (for the character) parts in movies: they can be left subtitled, or just not translated at all. And if it's just some ranks, well... I'd really at least try leaving it at that, without explanation.
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You can also use an appendix. These don't have to be as dry and as detailed as they have the reputation for. (I think Lord of the Rings put many writers off using an appendix). For instance, Simon Scarrow writes incredibly successful fiction about a pair of Roman warriors, one a Centurion and the other his Optio. Understanding the structure and the ranks of the legion is fundamental to enjoying the story, so he includes a simple two page appendix explaining this at a level of detail appropriate for the story (that last part is key). He also includes his appendix at the start of the novel, so it's almost more like a non-fiction prologue.
On the other side of the scale, you can just not explain them at all and assume that either the reader knows them (which they might if they are well-read or well-travelled) or just that a detailed understanding of the hierarchy is not important to the story. It might be enough to know that Oberst is higher ranking than the Feldwebel and that's all you need to know. This is the approach Louis de Bernières, who writers higher brow fiction and often sets his books in foreign countries, takes.
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First remember that for many readers "Colonel" and "Sergeant" are just as alien as "Oberst" and "Feldwebel". A civilian who doesn't know rank may well assume both are just some kind of soldier. To truly understand the rank dynamic, show how the two interact, or how one person reacts when he is preparing to meet (or surprised by) someone of another rank.
How do they think about each other? Sergeants worry about whether the colonel who is coming is a good or bad officer; Colonels don't have time to worry about the sergeant they are about to meet. Lieutenants worry about themselves, and occasionally about the next officer up the chain, while Captains worry about their lieutenants.
How do they act around each other? Use the right verb to convey the tone and intent. A lieutenant may question a captain or correct a sergeant but may feel the need to instruct an airman. A Major, on the other hand, will not explain much of anything - he will order or direct and then probably leave, unless he's recently promoted and still falling back into the habits of a Captain.
Speaking is pretty simple because you have the honorifics and shortcuts that make military speech so efficient. But even the difference between "yessir" and "yes, sir!" lets your reader understand the speaker a little more.
Show the work that they have to do. A sergeant's job is greasy, muddy, back-breaking, or tedious. A lieutenant's job might be more accurately described as titchy, stressful, or never-ending. A colonel's job might not seem like work at all until you realize he's doing it from the time he wakes up until the time he sleeps, for months on end. Describe the tasks they are working on when the narrative interrupts them.
If you put enough clues about their clothing, work habits, and relative moods, the reader will understand the people and not just their relative ranks.
This post was sourced from https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/1295. It is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0.
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